I recently looked up the word mid life crisis and wondered whether I might be going through one. The unrest and heightened anxiety I’ve felt lately had made me question my journey.

My plan for the year was light, a sabbatical of sorts, to experiment. I reduced my commitments to focus on a few key activities, yet my calendar remains packed. People trust me with their projects and work has never been in short supply.

My only concern is the mental exhaustion. I started business 16 years ago and had my 2 children in the last 10 years. Being sleep deprived, a mum of small children and a business owner, working at extended capacity does take its toll.

I feel like I have worked 60 years in almost 30. Like I worked for 2 lifetimes already.

I am now past my goal retirement age of 45. I find myself questioning why I continue to work at this pace when I don’t have to🤔. My involvement in non-profit initiatives, like Starting a Career in HR and the HR Bootcamp Conference, has been rewarding yet very stressful. Despite announcing my intention to step back in 2019, I found myself back in the thick of it by 2022. Story for another day.

Many times, I want to stop, but it feels like I am on a hamster’s wheel, even when the pace is slower, it’s a switch to a conveyor belt…still moving.

All in all, I am reminded by a friend that I am blessed because I always have work to do and I am grateful for that I must admit.

My work life is hard work, I won’t sugarcoat it. I am the first to admit that I do have some crazy in me.

That, I have never been forced back to 9-5, I attribute to the following:

1. I am truly blessed. God has been gracious.
2. I have a very supportive spouse, I married a man let’s me ‘be’. I never have to think about not having his full support and that is major.
3. I am frugal…I spend much less than I earn.
4. I work very, very hard. I am also very hard on myself. When I appear hard on others, it may help them to understand that, I am treating them as I treat myself but it gets clearer that I should not.

I am not even sure what this post was supposed to be about, but there you go…old age🤔.

I remember now, I was thinking of a work model in collaboration with other HR or training professionals interested in monetising their skills. I did something similar 5 years ago, helping others start their businesses, and I am eager to explore that again.

Wishing everyone a great weekend. If this resonates with you, let’s connect.

Your thoughts?