That many married women’s careers are hindered by unsupportive spouses should not surprise us.
“Professionally ambitious women really only have two options when it comes to their personal partners — a super-supportive partner or no partner at all. Anything in between ends up being a morale- and career-sapping morass.”
The above was cited in a recent Harvard Business Review Article by Avivah Wittenberg-Cox.
Talk to any married woman with a successful career. She either has a supportive spouse, is very single or heading for divorce.
An unsupportive spouse is like a thorn in the flesh. The strain from discord is a huge drain that has cut short the ambitions of many high potential women.
I know of women whose husbands will object to late nights at work or work-related travel. I have heard of numerous men who lock their wives out for coming home late from work. How many men have been locked our or asked to resign by their wives due to long work hours? How can women compete on equal terms if being a woman doesn’t allow them function with the same latitude as their male colleagues.
On the flip side, I know a lot of resentful women who are regretful of sacrificing their careers because their spouses’ careers took precedence. Women who downplayed their ambitions and built their lives around supporting their husband’s dreams. I mean it is ok to make sacrifices if that’s what you truly want. A sacrifice is owned and the outcome should leave one feeling like it was a better choice for a greater good. However, there’s no sacrifice if there’s a feeling of resentment for not being supported to fulfil your own dreams.
An unfulfilled life is an unhappy life.
As women, we are all first individuals before being wives, mothers, sisters etc. We own our own lives and our choices. We own our own dreams and they are valid.
Marriage is a partnership, each individual deserves to fulfil their own ambitions or at least a common vision.
Alignment is key for partnerships. Can two walk together unless they agree?
If you plan to get married, this is food for thought, as you decide on your spousal choices, think carefully about your career plans. If you are already married and you have a supportive spouse, consider yourself lucky.
What are your thoughts?